Thursday, September 27, 2007

The finer things in life

When was the last time you heard raindrops falling on the rooftop? Trust me I have been thinking about this for a long time and I seriously cannot recall that moment!! For someone like me who has spent most of my life in a place where there is lot of greenery and rain, this is something that I miss very much. In Delhi, it hardly rains and even if it rains you never get to hear that sound in your rooftop cause you stay in a 2nd floor or 3rd floor of a 5 or 6 storied flat!!! I guess anyone who goes out of their home to stay alone in big cities (read metros) for studies, work or any other purpose has to pay a price and missing out on these small things are what are perhaps our payment.

I am not saying that this is the only thing that you miss out on, I am sure if I sit down to compile a list, I will come up with an exhaustive one!! Many times it happens that you cannot go home for Eid, Diwali, Durga Puja or Christmas just because you cannot afford to take leave at that point of time. Its sheer torture to be away from home on these occasions, but again we just cannot help this. Its the month of Ramzan and let me tell you its not just the same without your family. The spirit of the occasion is simply not there when you are fasting all alone. Well, you cannot expect your roommate or friends to give you company when you get up early in the morning.

So just getting up alone and trying to ensure that you do not disturb anyone who is sleeping is a real task!!! But let me tell you, I have become quite an expert in this. These days I crave for typical Bengali delicacies, think will have to wait to savor this till I go back home. I have tried to cook here many times, but they just do not come out the way my mother makes them. It is said that you do not value things when you have them and only realize their worth when you no longer have them. Never thought that I could miss home cooked food, the first smell of rain falling on the dust, the sound of rain on rooftops, morning dew.....the list is endless.

Aha, how can I forget those annual family gatherings and family weddings!!! Those were the occasions when you have cousins, grandparents, distant relatives, uncle's and aunt's landing in one place from all over the country. The most common things that you will hear in such gatherings from those uncles and aunts are "Oh! My God, how tall, fat, thin, beautiful......... (I'm forgetting some more adjectives here) you have become" And if you are of marriageable age everyone will have some of the other prospective bride or groom in their mind for you.

And if by chance you happen to be happily married, than they will give you a big chunk of their mind with all the Gyaan in this world about starting a family or about family planning. God, at times it gets just too overwhelming!!! Most of the time you end up being introduced to relatives who you have never met in your life and have no clue of their existence. But these are fun times and when you stay away from home, you miss these things so much. The finer things in life may seem to be too finer, but thats where all the fun lies. I am feeling pretty homesick today.....

Monday, September 17, 2007

Rest in Peace my friend.......

I was living in a fool's paradise thinking that I am one of the strongest person around....well it was not just me, everyone around me thought so and now I know I am not. My friend is with God now, he never recovered from the critical condition. As I am writing this, I know my friend you will never see this.......never say that I write well, never ask me if I could help you out with something or the other, never talk to me, never laugh with me, never pull my leg, never walk with me, never meet me, never smile, never go out with me and the very thought fills up my heart with a sadness and a reality that I find very hard to accept. I know and I always say that.......... No matter what happens, life simply moves on and yes life is moving on.....but there is this emptiness inside which will never go away.

Never for one moment did I think that you could go away just like this. From the very beginning the doctors were firm that your condition is nothing life threatening, and though recovery will take time, you will be fine soon. You were in the ICU and on ventilation from the day of the accident, I was relying too much on the doctor's opinion. I know its all God's will and we mortals cannot do a thing about this and even the best treatment could not have revived you. You just had to go, you had completed your time on earth and you went away at a good time, a very auspicious moment .......Friday night in the Month of Ramadhan. I am glad that you are one of God's chosen one.

My friend I know wherever you are, you are doing good. You are just too good a person not to do good and not to be happy. Family and friends will miss you, they are all devastated, but I get solace from the fact that they say, only the good die young and let me tell you at 28 you are young........though I often used to tell you that you are losing all your hair and growing old too soon. I have never lost someone close to me.........missing you is something that I cannot help and trust me anyone who has known you even for a short time will never ever forget you. The whole thing feels very surreal even after so many days...... I have known you for about the last five years but its not about the quantity of time that we spend, its all about the quality of time.

Its ironical that you met with the accident on a Friday and you went away the next Friday. 5th of Sept (My B'day) and 7th of Sept are never ever going to be the same in my life..... Separations are wounds that none can heal but memories are treasures that none can steal, all these memories are just too precious. My friend wherever you are I hope you are good, Goodbye, Rest in Peace!!!

Friday, September 7, 2007

Contrasting friday realities

Last Friday was the day when I got the news that my friend was involved in a serious first I could not believe this. I mean come on, he was online just a few hours ago, how could he just be involved in an accident!!! But when I could not reach his number I knew that something was seriously wrong. Anyways he is admitted in the ICU in another city and the saddest part I can't even go and see him. The whole week was very depressing and on top of that my birthday was on Wednesday....5th Sept. Somehow I never got around celebrating birthdays, but this time I had decided to celebrate with friends. It was all set and the classic case of Man proposes and God disposes happened!!!

After the accident I was in no mood to celebrate anything and my birthday was the last thing on my mind. The guys at office got a cake, and everyone gathered at the cafeteria to celebrate my birthday. There are somethings that you just cannot escape, so I was there with all of them and we had some snacks there. Thank was over really fast. The week just dragged on and I thought that this is probably the longest week of the year. Btw till now there is no change in my friend's condition, he is still critical and I guess the only thing that I can do is pray to God.....

This Friday was in stark contrast to the last Friday, for some funny reason I had finished work early. My team suddenly had a weird idea and all of us decided to do an impromptu dance session and on top of that capture it on camera. We rehearsed our wild sequence for a good 2 minutes, called out the rest of my team to record it. For a moment it fell like we were back in school having a fun session after lunch hour. It was a hilarious experience.... dancing around like little kids and laughing our hearts out!!!

I guess sometimes it is just ok, to let your hair down and have a blast. Worrying is not the answer to anything and I have seen that when I have too much things on my mind I always end up doing things like this. I strictly believe no matter what happens, life just moves on and probably this was my way of dealing with the situation. Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey, it reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived......