Boundaries across bedrooms, living rooms and kitchens

Going back home to my paternal place in Assam in the month of November/ December used to be an annual occasion that I used to relish in those days. Playing in the fields with my cousins and other kids till it becomes dark, relatives pampering you as if you have descendant from some other land, those impromptu picnics aha.....those were the days. Gone are those days now, today I hardly find time to spend with my parents as we stay in separate cities. Someday I am going to write a description about those memorable picnics that we used to have!!!

My paternal place is located very near the India - Bangladesh border. Once when I was visiting there the Commandant of the BSF battalion that was posted there came to meet us. Apparently he was my father's student when he used to teach in a college at Nagaland, he took us on a tour of the border. It was a once in a lifetime experience for many of us. So, about 15 of us consisting of cousins, aunts, uncles, brother-in-laws decided to go and see those places near the border.

I came across a very strange house during the trip. There was this house where two brothers lived with their families, and the dividing line between the two countries ran right in the middle of the house. So, you have one brother who is an Indian and the other brother who is a Bangladeshi legally living under the same roof. One family's kitchen is in India, dinning room and loo in Bangladesh, and bedroom again in India and vice versa. So, what you get to do if you stay there sometime is cook in B'desh, eat in India, sleep and shit in B'desh or it could be the other way round depending on which brother's family you are staying with!

I was awed on seeing this and it actually took some to sink in. Trust me when you are actually standing in that house, you will just be overwhelmed. There was a stump like erection in the middle of the house which is supposed to be the demarcating line between the two countries. I never got another opportunity to go back and visit that house. This time when I go back home and if I find time to visit my paternal place, I will definitely go and visit that house. It has been more than 5-7 years since I saw that house, I just want to see if anything has changed with time in that house.

Today when there is so much talk about borders, countries, division and violence in the name of country religion, cast and creed it actually feels surreal to come across something like this. I am sure both the brothers have their own share of dislikes, tiffs and fights but they live together in 1 house as citizens of two countries, it actually feels good to know about something like this!!!

The Mystery of Spices.....

Delving deep into things has this ability to throw up surprises that you never really apprehended. This happened to me while I tried probing about the mystery of spices!! Did you ever think that there could be more to garlic, than being a spice that gives you a foul breath? Definitely not the right recipe if you are about to embark on a romantic evening with your partner! If you thought so, you are mistaken.....the Greeks and Egyptians believe garlic to be aphrodisiac and whats more, even modern science has seconded that through research.

This is not the part of any research paper, rather a movie brought these things and many other things to light for me! I was watching The Mistress of Spices and came across many interesting uses and qualities of spices that I never knew before, except probably for very few of them. I simply loved the movie just because of the way the properties of various spices were described. I have tired to put down some of them in here......

Chandan: - to erase bad memories
Til :- is a nourisher
Garlic : acts as an aphrodisiac
Saffron : attracts love
Cinnamon : helps in making friends
Kalo Jeera (black cumin seeds) : protects against the evil eye
Bharmi oil : cools down the entire system
Meethi(Fenugreek) : gives strength
Ajwain(carom seeds or bishop's weed) : builds up confidence
Fennel (Saunf) : perseverence
Hing (Asefoetida) : antidote of love
Tulsi (Basil) : for remembrance
Crushed Prishniparni burnt with lotus roots in the evening could bring back someone who is estranged
Powdered almond and keasr boiled with milk : for sweet words and remembering love buried under anger
Neem leaf : it is an anti-septic
Mustard seed : to send someone away from you
Cardamon : is to bind true love
Rendi oil from castro : to massage in joint pains and arthritis
Black pepper (with lime soda) : brings out your deepest secrets in the open
Lotus root: is for a lifetime of deep loving.......

The various ingredients used in supari are due to certain qualities present in them. The supari is for intoxication, the shreeded cocount is for uttering sweet words, the fennel seeds aid in digestion and the cardamon is to make words last forever. Of course, all those mentioned spices must be taken in certain quantities in combination with certain spices and at a certain time to get these results. So, the next time you need to dig a secret out from someone you could try serving lime soda with black pepper. You might just get lucky with this not so well known secret recipe...!!!

Lethargy, cell phone, ring tones et al.....

Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz....feeling very sleepy today, don'y know why!!! Feeling lethargic.....may be the ascent of summer in the horizon is the cuplrit. A colleague got married last night, so half the people in office turned up by mid day today. Lost my phone two days back, I was going to the market to meet some friends. When I got out of office had the phone with me, probably dropped it while I was getting in the rickshaw....pocket trouble you see. No there was no hole in it, but sometimes things just drop from the pocket of that particular trouser.

After I reached the market, about 5 mins from my office....put a hand in my pocket and its gone!!! The first few moments I did not know what to do, couldn't go back to office, couldn't call up anybody.....felt utterly lost and alone without my phone. Had a haunch that my friends will be in the pastry shop, so just headed in that direction and fortunately found them there. Next, called up the customer care guys and told them to block my number and dispatch a new SIM card. This just made me wonder how dependent we have become on our cellphones.

It was not very long ago that all of us used to know phone numbers by heart...well there were actually very few numbers for us to remember.

Today the scene is completely different, just show me 1 person who does not have a cell phone.....anybody and everybody has it. Back in my hometown cell phones were not actually a fad say about 2 years ago. Trust me I did not know anything about operating one and had very limited knowledge about its functions. Of course I knew you could make and receive call with it from anywhere....but thats about it.

When I was first coming to Delhi I got in touch with a friend through email and she asked me to come over to her place and stay for sometimes. Most of the communication was done via emails and she gave me her phone number as well. She knew the dates when I would be travelling, but had asked me to call her when I was starting from there. So, decided to call her up.....and when I dialed her number instead of the traditional sound of a phone ring, all I got to hear hear was the song Purani Jeans aur Guitar....my first thoughts were, there was some kind of cross connection and my call had reached some other place, so disconnected immediately!!!

Tried to call again...still the same result and this happened for about 3-4 times. So not knowing what else to do, just thought will go ahead with my trip. She knew about the dates, so my guess was she will be there to receive me. Throughout the journey I was worried if I could not find her..... had some other numbers as well...so if I am in any trouble, I can easily call up some other friend. Finally, when I landed in Delhi, tried calling her again and this time decided to actually find out who picks up the call. She did pick up the call and it was then I realized that the song Purani Jeans was not due to any cross connection or something, it was the ringtone!!!

So much for my lack of knowledge about cell phones, caller tunes and ring tones!!! Got a new phone today , got back contacts of people who matter to me......but let me tell you 2 days without a phone seemed like never ending. How things have changed with mobile phones and other technology....how much I have changed from the time I landed in Delhi till now.... I have all the important contacts now with me saved in a Google document, will get a ring tone soon and probably a dial tone as well....everything is indeed changing!!!! Ezra Pound said 'there is no reason why the same man should like the same books at eighteen and forty-eight'. Change is after all the only constant thing in life.....

Bye bye hibernation, Hello blogging.......

Its been a very long time since my post.....actually can't even remember when I last posted without taking a reference. I was not buried deep with work that I did not have time for blogging, had access to internet at all times and the pc was at my disposal but don't know why I was not doing this! Seriously, I have been thinking why this was happening to me and trust me, I could not come up with any satisfactory explanation.

I have been thinking about many topics and they just remained in the 'pipeline'. In fact I had written and rewritten them endless number of times......but all in my mind. Somehow, they never materalized...but thats now gonna change. Pensativo, I have finally decided to listen to your tic tic tic and actually come out of the hibernation!!!

I am often asked questions about my blog, how I got about wirting it, why I write and don't I feel uncomfortable writing out a virtual diary online. I understand that there are strangers reading this blog, but I don't think that I'hv written anything out of this world. Stories about going live on air, a schoolday fiasco, expriences in an airport, bidding farewell to a friend who will never come back, funny and interesting incidents that keep on happening all the time.......and I am sure this happens to everbody.

So if I put these things up in my blog I do not see any harm in it. At the most what will happen is that, may be I will end up making new friends through this and I don't mind that. I also pretty much like the fact that people that I have never met, never heard of and possibly will never meet actually read my blogs and put comments too!!!! Oh...its a heady feeling and actually thats what keeps me going...:)

Stranger in your own backyard

The feeling of nostalgia and the feeling of being a stranger, in surroundings that you were once dead familiar with have a bizarre connection. I found this out the hard way…went to my Alma Mater; Assam University after about 2 years, just wanted to reconnect and try to have a feel of things as they used to be. First, the university is completely unrecognizable these days…with constructions going on all around the campus. The entrance gate is beautifully erected, and with all the security there, makes you feel that you are in some new place. During my days the facilities were not that good, but things definitely look bright for juniors.

It was pouring heavily that day, perhaps an indication of things to come. I went to my department, anticipating many things. There were lots of students filling in and out of classrooms, but none of the faces were recognizable. But that’s understandable given the fact that everyone has moved on, and new people have come to take over. A new lab has come up in the room where we used to sit and belt out the latest chartbusters at the top of our voices. It suddenly felt as if I was in some other place and I had never been there before. Change they say is the permanent thing in life and things surely are changing. None of the professors or lecturers was present in the department and the people from the support staff were also missing that day.

The very nook and corner that we used to lord over once suddenly seemed unknown and unreachable, new people have entered there. My attempt to feel and savor what my classmates and me had at one point of time fell flat. I just went around the department trying to see the places where we used to hang out, where we used to have classes and where we grew up. Yes, there were traces of my memories and that was enough for me. This is the place where I spent the best 2 years of my life. The place that brought in lots of fun, laughter, tears, frustration, misery, joy, failure and success in my life.

Whatever little I have achieved today professionally, I owe that all to this department of mass communication located in this remote place. This is a special place and even though none of the students here recognize me here, the traces of memories that I could find here is a pleasant feeling. It’s an eerie feeling to actually go and see that your territory has been taken over and you are a stranger in your own backyard…but it is worth the effort of just going there and having a glimpse of the place.

Naam ar daaknaam

Angur, khajur, biscuit, bedana, submarine, poltu, laddu, bui......do not try to find any similarity among all these, you may not find any!! These are some of the weired naam and daaknaam that I have come across, trust me I do not want to be in the shoes of all these people, no matter how happy, how rich or how famous they are!!! For all those who have not seen The Namesake, 'daaknaam' is 'nickname' in Bengali. Imagine being stuck with such names and nicknames for your entire life....

There was this person called Fedai..... and he was famous by that name. Once someone wanted to send a wedding invite to him and we could not find out his real name or his so called 'good name'!!!! Everyone knew him by his bad name :) and the poor guy got the invite in that name.

How can I forget the most intriguing daaknaam I have ever come across....there are two guys named Azir in my mama's place.... I do not know why one is known as Poison Azir and the other is known as Danger Azir. The first time I heard those names I thought both were criminals and perhaps one had poisoned someone to death..... and the other one must have must have made a bomb go off somewhere.... hmm those were the only reasons I could think of! The truth was an absolute bouncer to me, apparently both are well behaved gentleman, but they are known by those strange names just like that!!!! Imagine your parents being called by those names....Its weired how people get stuck with such naams due to no fault of theirs!!!

I was reading a book a few days ago and the main female protagonist was named Temple. Imagine someone having names like masjid, mandir, church or for that matter mosque. Bet they do not need to go to any place of worship, they are Chalta Phirta places of worship after all :), imagine having someone like that in your family.....

A friend's relative is named submarine, just because the father had heard about submarines for the first time and was so fascinated by the whole thing that he ended up naming his poor daughter Submarine. So, does it mean that if someone is fascinated by t.v, radio or mobile phone, they will end up naming their poor child after that, OMG.....food for thought surely!!!

Guys and gals can you tell me about the weirdest naams and daaknaams you have come across???

Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

"Wrong, Do it again!"
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you
have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
"You! Yes, you behind the bikesheds, stand still laddy!"......

The finer things in life

When was the last time you heard raindrops falling on the rooftop? Trust me I have been thinking about this for a long time and I seriously cannot recall that moment!! For someone like me who has spent most of my life in a place where there is lot of greenery and rain, this is something that I miss very much. In Delhi, it hardly rains and even if it rains you never get to hear that sound in your rooftop cause you stay in a 2nd floor or 3rd floor of a 5 or 6 storied flat!!! I guess anyone who goes out of their home to stay alone in big cities (read metros) for studies, work or any other purpose has to pay a price and missing out on these small things are what are perhaps our payment.

I am not saying that this is the only thing that you miss out on, I am sure if I sit down to compile a list, I will come up with an exhaustive one!! Many times it happens that you cannot go home for Eid, Diwali, Durga Puja or Christmas just because you cannot afford to take leave at that point of time. Its sheer torture to be away from home on these occasions, but again we just cannot help this. Its the month of Ramzan and let me tell you its not just the same without your family. The spirit of the occasion is simply not there when you are fasting all alone. Well, you cannot expect your roommate or friends to give you company when you get up early in the morning.

So just getting up alone and trying to ensure that you do not disturb anyone who is sleeping is a real task!!! But let me tell you, I have become quite an expert in this. These days I crave for typical Bengali delicacies, think will have to wait to savor this till I go back home. I have tried to cook here many times, but they just do not come out the way my mother makes them. It is said that you do not value things when you have them and only realize their worth when you no longer have them. Never thought that I could miss home cooked food, the first smell of rain falling on the dust, the sound of rain on rooftops, morning dew.....the list is endless.

Aha, how can I forget those annual family gatherings and family weddings!!! Those were the occasions when you have cousins, grandparents, distant relatives, uncle's and aunt's landing in one place from all over the country. The most common things that you will hear in such gatherings from those uncles and aunts are "Oh! My God, how tall, fat, thin, beautiful......... (I'm forgetting some more adjectives here) you have become" And if you are of marriageable age everyone will have some of the other prospective bride or groom in their mind for you.

And if by chance you happen to be happily married, than they will give you a big chunk of their mind with all the Gyaan in this world about starting a family or about family planning. God, at times it gets just too overwhelming!!! Most of the time you end up being introduced to relatives who you have never met in your life and have no clue of their existence. But these are fun times and when you stay away from home, you miss these things so much. The finer things in life may seem to be too finer, but thats where all the fun lies. I am feeling pretty homesick today.....

Rest in Peace my friend.......

I was living in a fool's paradise thinking that I am one of the strongest person around....well it was not just me, everyone around me thought so and now I know I am not. My friend is with God now, he never recovered from the critical condition. As I am writing this, I know my friend you will never see this.......never say that I write well, never ask me if I could help you out with something or the other, never talk to me, never laugh with me, never pull my leg, never walk with me, never meet me, never smile, never go out with me and the very thought fills up my heart with a sadness and a reality that I find very hard to accept. I know and I always say that.......... No matter what happens, life simply moves on and yes life is moving on.....but there is this emptiness inside which will never go away.

Never for one moment did I think that you could go away just like this. From the very beginning the doctors were firm that your condition is nothing life threatening, and though recovery will take time, you will be fine soon. You were in the ICU and on ventilation from the day of the accident, I was relying too much on the doctor's opinion. I know its all God's will and we mortals cannot do a thing about this and even the best treatment could not have revived you. You just had to go, you had completed your time on earth and you went away at a good time, a very auspicious moment .......Friday night in the Month of Ramadhan. I am glad that you are one of God's chosen one.



My friend I know wherever you are, you are doing good. You are just too good a person not to do good and not to be happy. Family and friends will miss you, they are all devastated, but I get solace from the fact that they say, only the good die young and let me tell you at 28 you are young........though I often used to tell you that you are losing all your hair and growing old too soon. I have never lost someone close to me.........missing you is something that I cannot help and trust me anyone who has known you even for a short time will never ever forget you. The whole thing feels very surreal even after so many days...... I have known you for about the last five years but its not about the quantity of time that we spend, its all about the quality of time.

Its ironical that you met with the accident on a Friday and you went away the next Friday. 5th of Sept (My B'day) and 7th of Sept are never ever going to be the same in my life..... Separations are wounds that none can heal but memories are treasures that none can steal, all these memories are just too precious. My friend wherever you are I hope you are good, Goodbye, Rest in Peace!!!

Contrasting friday realities

Last Friday was the day when I got the news that my friend was involved in a serious accident.....at first I could not believe this. I mean come on, he was online just a few hours ago, how could he just be involved in an accident!!! But when I could not reach his number I knew that something was seriously wrong. Anyways he is admitted in the ICU in another city and the saddest part I can't even go and see him. The whole week was very depressing and on top of that my birthday was on Wednesday....5th Sept. Somehow I never got around celebrating birthdays, but this time I had decided to celebrate with friends. It was all set and the classic case of Man proposes and God disposes happened!!!

After the accident I was in no mood to celebrate anything and my birthday was the last thing on my mind. The guys at office got a cake, and everyone gathered at the cafeteria to celebrate my birthday. There are somethings that you just cannot escape, so I was there with all of them and we had some snacks there. Thank god......it was over really fast. The week just dragged on and I thought that this is probably the longest week of the year. Btw till now there is no change in my friend's condition, he is still critical and I guess the only thing that I can do is pray to God.....

This Friday was in stark contrast to the last Friday, for some funny reason I had finished work early. My team suddenly had a weird idea and all of us decided to do an impromptu dance session and on top of that capture it on camera. We rehearsed our wild sequence for a good 2 minutes, called out the rest of my team to record it. For a moment it fell like we were back in school having a fun session after lunch hour. It was a hilarious experience.... dancing around like little kids and laughing our hearts out!!!

I guess sometimes it is just ok, to let your hair down and have a blast. Worrying is not the answer to anything and I have seen that when I have too much things on my mind I always end up doing things like this. I strictly believe no matter what happens, life just moves on and probably this was my way of dealing with the situation. Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey, it reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived......